Total Drama Lab
by O'Bryan XYZ
Summary: A crossover between two classic shows involving crime, investigation, comedy, hilarity, and randomness. In this crossover, I replaced the six interns on Bones with six of the characters from Total Drama Island. I think I picked the best six for the job.
1. Chapter 1

Total Drama Lab Chapter One: "The one with the stomach"

"So, Booth, what do you have for us today?" asks Dr. Brennan 'Bones'. She puts on her lab coat as he leads her to the table where the body. She takes a good look at the body. "Booth, this body has too much flesh on it. This is Cam's job now." She says and turns around.

"C'mon Bones, we both know Cam is totally useless. Without you, there's no solving this case." Booth says. Bones thinks about it for a second when Hodgins walks up from behind her.

"I don't even know why she's needed. I'm the one who gives the most helpful information to solve cases. Besides, even with a shit ton a flesh, Cam is still says. Both Bones and Booth stare at him. Booth starts to speak. "Sorry, the King of the Lab is needed to do the real work." Says Hodgins, who goes up on the examiners station and right past Cam, who has her arms folded.

"You know, I am the boss." She says uselessly as she turns around.

"If you had been doing your job while we were fighting, then maybe you wouldn't be so useless." He says without even lifting his head. He picks up some slime that they all missed. "I'll go and analyze this and solve this case. You should probably go get coffee or something." He walks off.

"I'll show all of them whose useless." She says and storms off.

Meanwhile, in Hodgins' lab…

"Wow, you look incredible." He says.

"Hey, baby. Talking to the evidence again?" Angela asks and walks up to kiss Hodgins.

"Yeah, and I've solved the case again. This slime is…."

"Guys, the new intern is here, and you should see this guy." Sweets interrupts and leaves the lab. Hodgins and Angela exchange looks of interest and go check it out.

They all rally in front of Bones whose standing in front of them.

"Bones, where's the intern? Is he behind that wall behind you or something?" Booth asks.

"No…Booth, this 'wall' is the intern. I want you all to meet Owen." She says and points her arm at him.

"So, does this job come with free lunch and stuff, because I get really hungry looking at corpses?" Owen asks.

"No," says Cam. "And I really don't think you need to be eating that much anyway." She insults Owen. He starts crying and Hodgins goes to hug him.

"Hush, hush. Don't let Cam get to you. Cheer up, big guy." Owen hugs Hodgins back stops crying. Hodgins turns around. "Geez, Cam, a little sympathy for the new guy."

"Guys, we still have a murder to solve." Booth says.

"Booth, I've told you, too much flesh, and ….where's the body?" Bones asks after turning around.

They all turn to Owen who is licking his fingers.

"Man, that human sized beef jerky was pretty good. I hope none of you wanted any." Owen says.

They all stare at him with looks of disgust and intrigue, but Cam pukes and re=uins the silence.

"Damn it, Cam!" exclaims Hodgins.

"Great, now we have no body, flesh or bones to solve the murder." Says Booth.

"Dude, you never let me talk." Says Hodgins. "The slime I found on the victim's body was rich is bacteria, and not just any bacteria, but the bacteria of a komodo dragon. Ironically enough, the victim was also a snack for several of these large reptiles. And the only store that sells them in D.C. is Reptiles R Us."

"Good job, Hodgins." Says Booth. "Cam, you're so useless." She glares at him and storms off again.

"Umm, Owen, are you ok?" Angela asks. Owen starts wobbling back and forth and has dark rings under his eyes.

"Yeah, you don't look so hot." Sweets adds on.

"The corpses he ingested was covered in komodo dragon bacteria. We need to get him to the hospital." Bones says and pulls out her phone. "We need an emergency medic with anti venom handy, and an ambulance with an extra ton weight limit." She hangs up and she and Booth head out to the store.

"Well, I've done everything I had to, so, Angela, wanna go home?" Hodgins asks.

"Sure." She smiles and they grab arms and walk out together.

There is an awkward pause between Sweets and Owen, and Owen vomits out the corpse and it splatters on the ground, clean of any flesh.

"Whew, that tasted better coming out then going in." he says and laughs. Sweets looks at the vomit and skeleton and just walks away.

Meanwhile, at Reptiles R Us…

Booth and Bones walk in and look at the clerk. He whispers to the guy in line before they get to the counter and he leaves. They pass by and the guy goes out the door and runs away frantically. Booth pulls out his badge.

"Hey, I'm special agent Seeley Booth, and this is my partner, Dr. Brennan. Has anyone suspicious purchased any komodo dragons lately?"

"No, not since two days ago. Why?" the man asks.

"Because someone was fed to several of them recently, much like those over there." Bones points to a cage filled with komodo dragons and blood stains everywhere. "Odd, is there usually blood in the cage?" she asks.

"Yes, from the small animals we feed them." The clerk says. The man goes to the cage and grabs the hook next to it. He stabs a rabbit and lifts it over the komodo dragons who flock to it and tear limb from limb. "See." He pulls out the hook and puts it down.

Bones and Booth both shrug and walk out.

Back at the lab…

"Are you telling me you coughed up a full, complete human skeleton?" Bones asks.

"Yeah, it's no biggie. You should see me on holidays." He .

Bones awkwardly turns away and examines the skeleton. She focuses on a point in the ribs.

"There was a sharp and acute stab made here. Whatever it was, it was small, but very strong, like it was made for stabbing and lifting."

"I already examined the particulates in the wound, and it's the same metal used for zoo and pet store hooks for when feeding highly dangerous animals." Hodgins says as he walks up to them.

"Booth, the shop keeper had one of those." Bones says.

"On it. Cam, you're still useless!" he exclaims as he exits the lab. Cam throws her cup of coffee on the ground and storms back to her office.

"Well, Owen, not a bad first day, huh?" Hodgins asks him.

'Can we go eat now?" he asks. Bones and Hodgins shrug their shoulders and the three of them leave for dinner, forgetting all about Angela, Sweets, and Cam.


	2. Chapter 2

Total Drama Lab Chapter Two: "The flesh with the hair"

Two guards place the newest body on the lab table. Bones and Hodgins look at it and see it still has a bunch of flesh on it. They look at each other and sigh. Cam's too useless to solve this on her own, is what they're thinking.

"Hey, see if Booth or someone can distract Cam. We can't let her near this body. I'll just swab the flesh and see if there's anything important that could be helpful, and then I'll have my flesh eating beetles clean the bones for you, deal?" Hodgins says.

"That's a reasonable deal. I'll have Sweets and Angela keep her busy. I'll have my intern come in today." She responds with. She pulls out her phone and begins texting. Hodgins grabs the body and drags it to his office.

Meanwhile, in Cam's office…

"Lunch?" Cam asks suspiciously. "You want to take me to lunch?"

"Yeah, we figured you could use a good time with us for once." Angela says.

"Yeah, just a brunch with coworkers." Sweets adds.

"Fine, let's go." Cam says. She puts on her coat and the three of them head for the door. Booth walks past them. "Hey, Booth."

"Hey." He says with a confused look on his face. He walks up to the lab table to join Bones. "Hey, Bones, just got the message."

"You got here rather quickly." Bones says.

"It's not like I have a life outside of this place." He says.

"What about your son?"

"What about him?" Booth looks at the table and sees no body. "Where's the body?"

"Oh, Hodgins took it to search for any particulates." She looks at her phone and turns around. Her newest intern, Gwen, is coming to the lab table.

"Hey, Dr. B. Hey, Booth. What's the situation?" she asks.

"We were mailed a body from New York today. It was left in an abandoned building. Gun powder residue was all over the place, according to the FBI." Bones says.

"Yeah, the crime scene was full of these things." Booth pulls out a small bag holding a busted orange device.

"That looks like something from a cartoon." Gwen says and squints at it.

"You guys aren't going to believe this!" Hodgins yells from his office door and gestures for them all to come.

In Hodgins' office…

They three of them gather around Hodgins' table and listen.

"Ok, I was poking around his fingers to swab the gun powder residue from his finger nails when I noticed small hairs on his fingers and on his toes. The cool part is, they aren't human hairs. These hairs are what allow spiders to scale walls. These," he shows them a few in a sandwich bag, "are spider hairs. That are growing out of his skin." He looks at their confused faces. "You're killing me, guys. Spider hairs, orange bombs, what does that mean?" Bones and Booth scratch their heads.

"Spider Man!" Gwen says enthusiastically.

"Thank you!" Hodgins says. "Brennan, love your choice of interns this year!"

"Thanks, I'm glad you approve. But, how does determining that this guy is Spider Man help us solve the case?"

"Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, ring any bells?" She shakes her head no at him.

"Don't worry, I'm on it." Booth pulls out his cell phone as he walks out. "Hey, I'm gonna need a massive swat team to head to Osborn Industries asap."

"Once again, King of the Lab!" Hodgins exclaims proudly.

"That's not enough, Hodgins. We still need to prove that Norman Osborn was there, or has some connection to the bombs." Bones says.

"Then this situation calls for an infiltration. You in?" he asks Bones.

"No, that's what the FBI is going to do." She responds with.

"I'll go." Gwen says.

"Can I just marry you now?" he says. She blushes and laughs.

The two of them walk out and grab their coats. Bones turns to the still fleshy body and looks at the tank of flesh eating beetles. Cam walks in.

"Dr. Brennan, do you need help?" she asks.

"Yes, this is a chance for you not to be useless. Help me get this body into that tank of ravenous flesh eating beetles." She points to the tank.

"Is there a case that needs solving?" she asks.

"Yes."

"The body is still covered in flesh, so why wasn't I informed?"

"Look, Hodgins has already done sufficient work with the flesh, now it's time for the bones to tell us something. Now, please help me lift this body." Bones grabs one end of the body. Cam sighs and grabs the other end.

Hours later, in the halls of Osborn Indutries…

Hodgins and Gwen inch their way through the halls. They continue own the hall until the spot an elevator around the corner. Hodgins peaks around the corner and sees two guards next to it. He faces Gwen.

"Those guys back there are blocking that elevator, even while no one's here, so the evidence must be wherever that elevator goes. Get your gloves on." They both put on their gloves. Hodgins looks to the far end of the hall and spots a light flashing on and off. He looks closer and sees that it's Booth, signaling him.

"Are we in trouble?" Gwen asks.

"Big time, but we'll worry about it later." Hodgins says.

Gwen looks at Hodgins with light from Booth shining on his face and she blushes again. Hodgins turns to face her.

"We need to cause a distraction so Booth and his guys can get to the elevator. Are you ready?" she nods at him, and he nods back. Hodgins runs out in front of the guards and dances a little. "Bet you can't catch me!" He runs and they run after him and Gwen. Booth and his men sneak into the elevator and go down.

Basement of Osborn Industries…

Booth and his back up get out the elevator and spot a secret lab. They take pictures and bag notes and disks all over. An echo reverberates throughout the room from the entrance. Norman Osborn steps down and looks at the swat team. He's in his goblin suit.

"Now, didn't your mother ever tell you not to trespass?" he asks and puts his mask on.

Meanwhile, in a closet upstairs…

Hodgins and Gwen are making out heavily. Hodgins pushes away.

"Wait, how did this start again?" he asks Gwen.

"We were running away from the guards when you dragged me in here with you. The adrenaline was pumping through our veins and we just kissed, then I got intense." She says.

"Oh. Okay." He shrugs his shoulders and they continue making out.

Meanwhile, in the basement…

There are streaks of gunpowder all over the room and desks and shelves are destroyed. Two of Booth's men are dead, and two injured slightly. Booth has Norman Osborn in handcuffs and mirandizes him.

"I can't believe we took down someone that Spider Man couldn't. I smell a promotion in the air." Booth says.

A few days later…

Cam and Bones still haven't gotten the body in the tank.

"Forget it, Cam. Apparently, you're even too useless to help me dump a body. If anyone else were here, it would be done by now." Bones says and walks away.

Cam is left there dumfounded and stuttering.


	3. Chapter 3

Total Drama Lab Chapter Three: "The criminal who became an intern"

It's a slow day in the lab. Hodgins, Bones, and Cam are all hunched over the lab table, awkwardly looking at each other. Suddenly, the alarm goes off. They snap to attention and all head for Hodgins' lab. Security runs toward the source of the alarm. Angela and Sweets join the doctors in Hodgins' lab.

"What's going on?" asks Sweets.

"We don't know. The alarm just went off without warning." Cam says.

"For a boss, you certainly don't know much about what goes on around this place." Sweets says harshly.

"Hey, be nice. She's a good boss, she's just useless in cases." Angela says.

"Thanks, Angela." Says Cam, trying not to cry.

"Look, its Booth!" Bones exclaims and points.

They all leave the lab to meet Booth, whose dragging a young man with piercings and green and black hair.

"Who is this?" Bones asks.

"This is the kid who tried to steal stuff. His name is…What's your name again?" Booth asks him.

"My name is Duncan." He says reluctantly.

"Wait, are you the same Duncan I interviewed over the phone last week?" Bones asks him.

Duncan looks confused for a second and sees everyone staring at him. "Yeah, that's me. Duncan, at your service." He says.

"Okay Booth, let him go." Bones says.

"Fine, but he's never to be left alone." Booth unlocks the handcuffs and his phone rings. "Booth." He states to the caller. "Okay, on our way." He puts up the phone. "Let's go, Bones. We got a case!"

"Oh, Duncan, come with us. I would like to observe you in the field." Bones says.

"Actually, I think I'll just hang out here." He says.

"Not if I can help it, let's go." Booth grabs his arm and drags him along.

The crime scene in River Pons…

Booth leads Bones and Duncan to the body. Bones squats over it and pulls Duncan down, too.

"I've looked at the body and have made two key observations, can you tell me what they are?" Bones asks Duncan.

He looks at the skeleton and the clothes still on it. The skeleton is wearing a tennis outfit and still has the eyes in the sockets.

"One, I'd have to say that this is a girl." He pats in between hers legs. "The pelvis bone feels different from mines. Don't ask me how I know the difference. And two, the eyes didn't rot like that rest of the flesh, which I'm sure is weird. Right?" he asks Bones.

"You're correct about the sex of the victim, but those aren't real eyes. This particular victim not only had one, but two prosthetic eyes. That should be rare enough for us to identify the victim." She looks up to Booth.

"Ok, let's get this body back to the lab and have a search put out for a woman with two glass eyes!" he orders the other agents.

Back in the lab…

Hodgins comes to the lab table and joins Bones and Duncan.

"I've looked over our victims eyes, and they weren't commercial made glass eyes. These were made with a special tensile strength, enough to withstand a hammer being slammed down on it. I would suggest looking and the eye sockets." Hodgins says.

Bones nods to Duncan and they both check one eye socket.

"It looks like someone did exactly that." Bones says. "Duncan, what do you think?"

"Yeah, the cracks near the back of the socket are soft but still visible." He says.

Bones goes and looks at the right eye socket. "This is bad. The difference is crack size and visibility means there were either two murderers or the same murderer who got tired with the second swing."

"I've already examined the particulates that were present on the eyes. I'll go check the results now." Hodgins leaves.

"That was odd." Bones says.

"What do you mean?"Duncan asks.

"Hodgins usually bonds with my interns." She says. Duncan shrugs his shoulders in response.

Booth walks up to the table. "Yeah, there are no missing women in the area with two glass eyes. But, there are three missing tennis players from the high school near where we found the body. I had a search put out for the other two girls. I think this may be a sex crime. Someone kidnapped the girls and rapes and kills them. That's what it seems like."

"That's horrible." Duncan says.

"Welcome to the lab. I'll go to the high school and see what I can learn about the girl's life. Bones, you stay here and have Angela see if the victim's face matches any of these girls." He hands her the photos and leaves. Hodgins walks past him really excited, holding two eight pound fiberglass sledgehammers.

"Duncan, up for a little experiment?" he asks excitedly.

"I don't even want to know." Bones says and walks away to find Angela.

In Angela's office…

Angela and Gwen are in there painting about how they currently feel. Angela paints a rainbow over a field of bunnies. Gwen paints her riding a dragon with Hodgins. Angela starts to notice when Bones walks in.

"Hey, Ang. We need you to give us a facial reconstruction of the latest victim." She says bluntly. Angela's mood sinks quick and she grabs a bucket of black paint and throws it over her original painting. Bones leads Angela to the body. Gwen shrugs and continues her painting.

The Jeffersonian parking lot…

Hodgins and Duncan are standing holding the sledgehammers.

"And this is going to help determine the strength of the killer or killers?" Duncan asks.

"Yeah, this records the force of each of our strikes. We can compare to what Dr. Brennan says would take to break the bone behind the eyes. Now, I'm first." Hodgins raises his hammer and hits the target. The bar goes up to 130 psi.

"My turn." Duncan says. He hits the target and reaches 110psi. "So, were either of those a match?"

"No, we were both way too strong. The force required was only 32 psi. I think I know where to look to find our murderers. Follow me." Hodgins leads him back to the lab.

In the lab…

"Are you sure, Dr. Hodgins?" Bones asks him.

"Yes, the strength required had to come from a high school tennis player." He argues.

"That would actually explain things, Brennan." Angela says to support Hodgins.

"Thanks, baby." He kisses her.

Gwen sees them kiss from Angela's office.

Booth walks up. "Yeah, the two girls are still missing, and the entire area's been searched. I talked to the principal and the coach and it turns out the three girls were best friends. And like every group of high school girls, a cute boy can cause a lot of trouble. The girls will be caught eventually, but they have another week or so of freedom." He says.

"So, is the case over with?" Bones asks as Cam walks up.

"Wait, the case is over?" Cam asks.

"Yes, little miss useless." Hodgins says.

"I'm sure those girls won't get caught. This is just one of those situations where the criminals get away. Now, who's up for drinks? Not you, Cam." He says. They all nod and head for the door, but Cam just goes back to her office. Gwen joins them. They get to the door and a guy with glasses walks in.

"Hi, I'm Dunc…" he starts to say when Duncan kicks him in the crotch and slips a knife in his pocket.

"Quick, security, he's got a knife!" Duncan yells.

Security tackles the guy with glasses and drags him away.

"Well, that's one criminal that isn't getting away." Duncan says, sweating a little. The gang laugh and join him out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Total Drama Lab Chapter 4: "The key in the cat"

Hodgins, Gwen, and Owen are in the movies watching SAW. As the movie goes on, they discuss all the evidence they could use to find the actual murderer of the series. After the movie ends, they go to an all you can eat restaurant.

"Man, that movie was good." Says Owen, who throws three burgers down his throat with little effort.

"Imagine what would happen if killers actually did that. Kidnapped people and it was up to them to survive." Gwen says.

"It's happened to me, Booth, and Dr. Brennan before." Hodgins says.

"Really?" Owen and Gwen ask.

"Yeah, we were all kidnapped by this person called the Gravedigger. We locked her up, though. What she does is bury people alive and demands a ransom. If it isn't paid within 24 hours, the buried victims are never seen again. But, since I'm awesome at analyzing minerals and slime and stuff, we all survived."

"Man, my biggest fear is being buried alive." Gwen says.

"Don't worry. If that were to ever happen, I'd find you." Hodgins says sweetly and they kiss.

"Aren't you dating Angela?" Owen asks.

"Married, actually. But, you know, things happen. Besides, Gwen knows that already. We are just a fling for now." Hodgins responds with. "Right, Gwen?"

"Oh, yeah. Just a fling." She says.

"Anyway, we should go. I can't keep Angela waiting. Owen, don't eat this restaurant out of business, too. We're running out of places to eat at." Hodgins says as he walks out with Gwen.

The next day at the lab…

Owen walks into the lab and goes up to the others, who are in a circle. Angela turns to him.

"Is everything okay?" Owen asks.

"Hodgins never came back last night, and I just got this message." She pulls out her phone and plays the message.

It says "_I have kidnapped and buried Dr. Hodgins and Graduate student Gwen. You have twenty four hours to deliver sixteen million dollars to the post office downtown. If I see any law enforcement whatsoever, they will both die. This will be my final contact._"

"Oh my God. Is that the Gravedigger woman?" Owen asks.

"Wait, how do you know about the Gravedigger?" Booth asks.

"Booth, you have to leave. We can't have any law enforcement involved. Tell the FBI to order all officers in that area to leave immediately." Bones says.

"Okay, text me when you find something." Booth says as he leaves.

"But, how do you know about the Gravedigger?" Bones asks Owen.

Cam, Sweets, and Angela all turn their attention on him. Owen starts to sweat.

"Hodgins told me about her. It was last night. Me, him, and Gwen were at a restaurant." He says.

"So, when did you see them last?" Angela asks.

"When they left the diner. I stayed to eat some more."

"And they left together?" Sweets asks.

"Yeah." Owen says.

"That's interesting." Sweets says.

"You, enough with your shrinkness. We have to find them." Angela says.

"But, if they're buried, how can we?" Owen asks.

They're all silent and still. Sweets kicks his foot back and forth.

Meanwhile, buried in the yard in front of the lab…

Gwen is screaming to be let out over and over. She's in a small coffin like thing and she tries to break through the top of it. She freezes when she feels a bang from the outside of the coffin. After a few more bangs the top of the coffin cracks and dirt starts to fall through. Gwen scream even more now.

"Hey, it's me, Hodgins. Just hold on and I'll have you out in no time." He says. He keeps pounding on the wood, letting more and more dirt in.

Meanwhile, in the lab…

The newest intern, Chris, walks in holding a box. They see him come up and turn to him.

"Who are you?" Cam asks.

"I'm the newest intern. I'm Chris, and so far I'm happy to be surrounded by other good looking scientist. Well, except the stickman and the jumbo size over there." He says.

"What's in the box?" Bones asks.

"Oh, it's a package from someone called the Gravedigger. Is it important?" Chris asks. He gets hit in the face by Angela who takes the package from him. "Hey, no hitting this face." He says.

"This box has to have some clue to where they are." Angela goes to the lab table and puts the box down. She opens it and steps back with her hands over her mouth.

The others rush to her side, but Chris lags behind rubbing his face.

"Oh my God." Sweets says.

"It's…it's…it's…so cute!" Owen says.

"We should x-ray it." Bones says.

They all turn to Bones with "wtf" looks.

"It could have evidence inside. I'll handle it." Bones picks up the kitten and heads to the medical center. Cam, Chris, and Owen follow her. Angela paces back and forth. Sweets holds her on his shoulder.

In the medical center…

Bones puts the kitten on the x-ray table. She steps in the safety room with the others. Cam starts the machine and the image appears on the screen in the corner. The cat has a key in its stomach.

"That settles it, we have to cut the kitten open." Bones says.

"I can't do it, Dr. Brennan." Owen says.

"I don't do blood." Chris says with his arms folded

"I'm the most rational person here, but I still can't bring myself to kill that poor thing." Bones says.

"I'll do it." Cam says. She walks in and grabs the kitten and goes to the autopsy lab.

"I can't believe it." Bones says.

"What?" Chris and Owen ask.

"Cam is doing something useful."

Meanwhile, underground…

Hodgins busts through the top of the coffin and drags out Gwen. They dust her off and the take a look around. They're still underground, but a small space was dug out around them. Gwen looks at the other coffin and sees its broken wide open and then at Hodgins' hands. They're full of splinters and pretty bruised.

"Are you okay?" she asks him.

"I'm fine. We still need to get out of here." He tries to jump and grab the hatch above them. He grabs it and pulls down, but it doesn't budge. He lets it go. "It's locked."

"We need to find a way to let people know we're down here." Gwen says.

"Do you have any candy or food?" Hodgins asks. He goes in his pockets and pulls out some tootsie rolls. Gwen finds a pack of M&M's. "Hopefully Owen will pick up on the scent and lead the others right to us. Gwen tears open the M&M's and Hodgins unwraps his tootsie rolls.

Meanwhile, in the lab…

Cam walks up to the lab table with bloodied gloves and holding a key in her hand. "I got the key." She says. Angela runs by and snatches the key from her and heads to her office. The others follow her.

In Angela's office…

"The FBI provided me with a key database. All I have to do is put a key on this scanner and it can tell me where it was made and for what purpose it was made." She puts the key on the scanner and starts it up. "The result is: it was made in a smith shop downtown two months ago and for the purpose of only opening a four and a half millimeter thick master lock." She says.

"I think we should check out that place." Booth says behind them. They all turn around surprised. "C'mon, I'll drive everyone. And if the Gravedigger does kill both of them, we'll have evidence linking her to their deaths. My guys found eye witnesses who says the saw her in the theater last night."

They all go outside and Owen stops immediately.

"Do you guys smell that?" he says as he walks forward. They look at each other and follow him. "I," he sniffs the air a couple times, "smell tootsie rolls and M&M's!" he exclaims as he runs to the area and starts digging.

He uncovers the doors and the lock is revealed. Angela shoves him out the way unlocks the doors right away. She opens the doors and lunges to kiss the first person that lifts up, but it's not Hodgins.

Gwen and Angela spit and cough. Gwen lifts up and Hodgins comes up behind her. Angela hugs both of them.

"I'm glad you two are okay, you're two of my best friends ever." She says with tears in her eyes. Hodgins and Gwen look at each other. They finally hug her back. The others all watch with smiles on their faces that the most important scientist in the lab didn't die.


	5. Chapter 5

Total Drama Lab Chapter Five: "The bride in the oven"

Bones, Booth, and Cam are all at the crime scene, at the after math of a wedding. Booth is talking to the guests. Bones and Cam are checking out the body, if it can be called that.

"This is bad, the flesh has boiled and burned too much for any facial recognition." Cam says. "Good news, the family won't have to pay for cremation."

"There also appears to be what looks like cooking oil on the flesh." Adds Bones.

"The guests and family have identified the victim as a Ms. Harriet Turnboll, who was going to be a Mrs. Harriet Kennedy." Booth says after walking up. "So, what's the plan?"

"We need to bring this oven back to the lab for further investigation." Bones says.

"Fine, back to the lab it is." Booth says.

In the Jeffersonian lab…

Bones and Cam are looking at the body and are stumped as to how to remove the remains without compromising evidence. Booth is off to the side.

"I say we just scrape it out." Says Cam.

"We can't. That will cause contusions that don't already exist and will be problematic." Bones says.

"Not to mention the dress."

"Dr. Saroyan, there is no dress."

Cam takes a closer look into the oven. "It was her wedding day, why isn't she wearing a dress."

"Yeah, I've been wondering that myself." They turn around to see Sweets behind them.

"How long have you been standing behind us?" Bones asks.

"Long enough to notice the victim wasn't wearing a wedding dress. Since Hodgins and Angela have left for vacation, I figured I could lend a hand in the case. The dress, it's the thing a bride wears before she gives up the life she lived for herself, to live her life for her partner, too. Whoever has the dress is someone who didn't want her to move on and possibly the killer."

"Huh, good catch Sweets. I'll have the guests brought in for questioning. Care to aid with interrogation?" Booth asks.

"Dude, sweet!" he says. The two of them leave the lab table area.

"So, how do you suggest we remove the remains carefully?" Cam asks.

"I have an idea, but I'll need some additional help. Which intern is scheduled for today?"

"None of your interns were scheduled for today, although, Hodgins called in one of his interns to help out today. His name is Harold. Hodgins assured me that he would be a help to us."

"You're more take charge without Hodgins around."

"I know, but I'm going to start being more of a boss now. I'm not useless, and I'll get all of you to understand that, starting with this case." She says proudly.

"Hello," Says a dorky looking red head with his finger up his nose.

"Can you please remove your finger from your nostril? It is very disgusting." Bones asks him.

"Okay." He takes his finger out and rubs it on his pants. He walks up to them. "I'm Harold, Hodgins' intern." He extends his hand to Cam who looks at Bones.

Meanwhile, in the interrogation room…

Booth gives the four suspects each a glass of water. Sweets leans forward and looks at each of them as they take sips of the water.

"So, what were your relationships to the victim?" he asks them all. Booth sits on the edge of the table next to Sweets.

"I'm her father, Anthony Turnboll."

"I was her mother." She looks at Anthony with sharp eyes. "I'm Julia Turnboll."

"I was going to marry her. I'm Jason Kennedy."

"I was her sister. My name is Claire Turnboll."

"So, was Harriet showing any signs of stress before the wedding? Nervousness? Anxiety? Anything?" he asks.

"No, she wasn't stressed. She was ready to marry me, I knew that. All she talked about was the wedding!" yells Jason.

"Hey, don't upset him. His fiancée just got murdered." Says Claire who rubs his shoulders.

"What about you, Mrs. Turnboll?" asks Sweets.

"Look, I was cooking.." she says.

"Ahh, 'cooking' huh?" Booth says mockingly.

"Look, Harriet seemed nice and ready for the wedding. Her killer probably was someone jealous. Did you check the rest of the guest list?" Anthony Turnboll asks.

"Yes, we did. And after a preliminary background check on each of the guests, you four were the only ones who knew the victim well enough. We checked every facet of interaction between her and every guests, and not a one besides you four came up." Booth says forcefully. "But here's the kicker. We linked each of the four of you to each of the other guests in some way. So, maybe Harriet wanted a small wedding with just her family and fiancée there. I think one of you killed her, and not one of you are leaving until we find out who. Let's go, Sweets." Booth and Sweets exit the room.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Harold is studying the oven while Bones and Cam are sitting in chairs waiting for him to say something.

"Okay, to get this body out, I will have to compromise some of the evidence, but the flesh will remain intact. The bones will be compromised unfortunately." Says Harold.

"But if the bones are compromised, then I'll have no way to solve the case." Bones says.

"That's true, but with flesh, I'll be able to. Harold, you have my permission to remove the remains as you have planned. The Empress of the lab has spoken." Cam says and smiles and Bones pouts and folds her arms.

Harold grabs a spatula from the tray begins scraping out the flesh. He scoops it into trays and places them on lab table. He grabs window cleaner and sprays the remains that can't easily be removed. "I'm applying the window cleaner to the flesh to irritate it and cause it to retract on itself, pushing off of the bone, but the acid from the solution will affect the results from any x-rays we may take, and there's no way to read how the bone was affected. However, in the top screen of the flesh, we can just simply ignore the compound elements listed on the back label." He stands and points to the label.

"Excellent work, Harold." Says Cam. "Now, help me get these trays over to the autopsy room so I can perform the top screens." Her and Harold grab the trays and leave.

Meanwhile, in Booth's office…

"So, who do you think the murderer is?" Booth asks Sweets.

"I'm thinking it's the mother, but the dad seems a likely candidate, too. He looks down every time we asked a question about his daughter."

"It's either out of guilt or he just misses his daughter. Can you determine which if we interrogate him alone?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

Booth's phone rings and he answers. "Booth."

"Hey, I just got the top screen back on the flesh of the victim. It wasn't just covered in cooking oil, but also in vinegar. Also, the victim ingested anticoagulants, metal phosphides, and calciferols consisting of vitamin D. In English, it's rat poison." Cam says over the phone. "Search the house for rat poison, Booth."

"Thanks, Cam." Booth hangs up. "Okay, Sweets, time for a field trip."

Hours later, at the interrogation office…

Booth and Sweets enter with the rat poison bagged. Booth drops it on the table and Mr. and Mrs. Turnboll look up at him. Claire Turnboll flinches and Sweets notices.

"We learned your daughter was poisoned with this, and your fingerprints are all over it, Mrs. Turnboll. How do you explain that?"

Mrs. Turnboll chokes up before saying "Look, I didn't kill my daughter. We have rats and I am the one who spreads the poison on the traps. I would not kill my daughter on her wedding day."

"Then who…" booth begins to say.

"Booth! It's not the mother we're after. It's the sister." He turns to her. "Isn't that right, Claire?" he asks.

She starts to cry. "I loved Jason first! She stole him from me on our wedding day!" she pauses to sniffle. "So, I'll take her from him! It's only fair!"

Sweets turns to Booth who pats his shoulder and smiles. Booth whispers "Good job, Sweets."

Later, at the Founding Fathers…

"Cheers, to Sweets and Cam! For without them this case wouldn't have ended in success. Cheers!" Booth exclaims. They all bang their glasses together and drink.


	6. Chapter 6

Total Drama Lab Chapter Six: "The woman with two and a half children"

Cam and Bones are in Cam's office, about to hire the final intern.

"So, how long have you been interested in forensic science?" asks Cam.

"Oh, you know, since I was abroad in Egypt and helped some anthropologists date some items they found in some tomb dig." She says all spastic like.

"Have any special skills you can bring to this lab?"

"Yeah, I'm good at reading remodeling charts and telling regular bone from grafts and implants. I learned that while working as a ski patrol guard in high school." She lets out a short maniacal laugh. "Sorry, I get like that sometimes."

Cam and Bones look at each other.

"Your resume is quite impressive, although, before a final decision is made on your position here, I'd like to observe you in the field. I'll call you when I have a case come up." Says Bones. "By the way, what's your name again?"

"Oh, I'm Izzy." She says and shakes both their hands before leaving.

Meanwhile, at Founding Fathers…

Hodgins and Gwen are having lunch together.

"I think we should stop." Hodgins says.

"I agree. I can't bring myself to do this to Angela. Like, I like you, but Angela's been like my older sister since I was hired." Gwen says.

"Wait, you actually liked me?" Hodgins asks, surprised by the statement.

"Yeah, for me it wasn't just a fling, which makes this really hard for me."

"I'm sorry. If I knew, I never would've kept it going."

"It's ok. We can still be friends, right?"

"Of course. Just make sure Angela never finds out about us."

"I will. I don't want to lose her as a friend. I feel that you and her are my only friends there. Cam is too demanding now, Booth doesn't even acknowledge me, and Dr. B is so strict. But you and Angela have accepted me with open arms."

"Yeah, well, I've always had a soft spot for the interns. I know Cam and Brennan can be hard to take, so I'm like the safety net."

Angela walks up to the table with Sweets.

"Hey, baby." She says and kisses him. Gwen squints her eye a little bit and Sweets see it. Hodgins and Gwen scoot in to make room for them. "So, what were you guys talking about?" Angela asks.

"Yeah, I'm interested to hear about that." Sweets says.

"If you don't doing your shrink thing, then I'll stop inviting you to lunch." Angela says.

"Fine, I'll stop."

"We were just talking about the intern life. How much Brennan and Cam expect from each of them and stuff." Hodgins says.

"I heard they interviewed a possible final intern today. Someone by the name of Izzy, I believe." Sweets says.

"Really? I might know Izzy. Kind of tall, red hair, laughs like a maniac sometimes?" Gwen asks.

"Yeah, Brennan just sent me a photo of her." Angela shows the photo to them.

"Yeah, that's Izzy alright. We were roommates in college. We went to different graduate schools, though. It'll be awesome to see again." Gwen says.

Next day at the lab…

Hodgins and Cam are arguing. On the lab table are two small bodies, one adult skeleton, and half a skeleton of a fourth victim.

"Spectrometer!" exclaims Hodgins.

"Autopsy!" exclaims Cam.

"Spectrometer!"

"Autopsy!"

Bones, Izzy, and Gwen walk up to the lab table.

"What's going on here?" Bones asks.

"Cam thinks an autopsy will provide more results than the mass spectrometer will, and I disagree." Says Hodgins.

"And I think an autopsy will do just that." Cam says.

"Will you two stop acting like you're five years old. This has been going on for weeks, enough already. Gwen, assist Hodgins with the mass spectrometer readings for the body to the right. Cam, you and Izzy will take the body to the left, since it's still too fleshy for me. I will work on the adult body and the half skeleton. Now, go!" Bones orders them. They grab their respective bodies and head off in different directions.

In Hodgins lab…

"So, how does this thing work?" Gwen asks.

"Don't worry about. I can do this myself. Brennan just wants you to wheel the body back after I'm done." Hodgins says and begins swabbing the body for any mineral or chemical residue on the body.

Meanwhile, in the autopsy room…

"So, what am I supposed to do?" Izzy asks.

"Just sit tight until I can figure out if any toxins were introduced into the victim's bloodstream. After I'm done, you can take the body and results back to Brennan." Cam says.

"Ok, but that seems kinda boring. Like the time I had to babysit my older brothers glue bottle when I was in middle school. Talk about a boring night. I mean, that bottle wouldn't talk at all." Izzy rants on. Cam puts in ear plugs and continues to work.

Hours later, at the lab table…

Gwen and Izzy roll the bodies to the lab table.

"Hodgins found traces of asphalt and soot in the wounds." Gwen says.

"Dr. Saroyan didn't really find and substances in the body, so it's now clean for us to do our job." Izzy says.

"Well, I've already determined that this adult body is female and that she was beaten a lot. I looked at the x-rays, and she suffered injuries consistent with domestic abuse. I found the same with the half of the skeleton of this male. The children are too young to tell their gender, especially with their wounds. Did Dr. Saroyan determine the sex of this victim?" Bones asks Izzy.

"Yes, the DNA showed it was female." Izzy answers. "I can look at this body and count and catalog the breaks for you, Dr. Brennan."

"Excellent suggestion. Gwen, please assist Izzy." Bones says and walks off.

"So, excited to work together?" Gwen asks.

"Sure. So, have we met before? You look really familiar." Izzy laughs maniacally again and catches herself. "Sorry." Gwen facepalms.

Meanwhile, in Booth's office…

Bones knocks on the door and Booth looks up and tells her to come in.

"Ok, don't worry Jared, I'm on my way." Booth hangs up the phone.

"Your brother again?" Bones asks.

"I'm sorry I have to cancel again, but I can't let Jared go running off to India drunk. We'll go out tomorrow night after he goes to India, despite my warning." Booth kisses Bones on the cheek and puts his coat on as he leaves the office.

Meanwhile, back in the lab…

Hodgins is heading for the exit when Sweets comes around the corner and blocks him.

"Hodgins, we need to talk." He says.

Hodgins laughs, "I'm going home." He walks past Sweets who turns around.

"I know about you and Gwen." He says. Hodgins stops in his tracks.


	7. Chapter 7

Total Drama Lab Chapter Seven: "The stoner in the urinal"

Hodgins is in Sweets office sitting right across from him.

"So, you think there's something going on with me and Gwen?" Hodgins asks.

"If there wasn't, you never would've come here with me." Sweets says sharply.

"Look, the thing between me and Gwen ended. We broke it off after you guys saved us from underground. End of story." Hodgins says and slams the door as he leaves.

Sweets sighs and sips his tea.

Meanwhile, at the latest crime scene…

"The victim is male, about 22 years old, and has great bone density. There is still flesh on this body, but not enough for Cam to get anything besides DNA. We'll take the body and the urinal back to the lab." Bones says.

"Wow, someone hated this guy. Oh, this reminds me of the time-"

"Not now, Izzy. Ok, let's get this guy back to the lab." Booth says.

"Wait, why was I called here again?" Izzy says.

"I didn't get a good enough estimation of your skills last time, so I called you back out here. So far, I'm not impressed." Bones says as she walks past her.

In the Jeffersonian lab…

"I've noticed several occupational markers on the bones. The phalanges showed stress fractures in a pattern consistent with holding up a hammer. His mandible shows recent ware, most probable cause is over eating. Man, that reminds me of the time I was at the carni-"

"Izzy!" Bones exclaims.

"Sorry." She lets out that laugh again. "Moving down I've noticed several remodeled fractures on the ribs and even in the tibula and femur. This guy was beat severely. The degree of remodeling suggest that the wounds were intense." Izzy says.

"I've seen this before. This poor kid was part of a drug ring. He probably couldn't pay and got killed for it. That would explain the fractures and over eating. He was a weed head. But the hammer doesn't make sense." Booth says.

"The markers on the bone suggest he held the hammer like this." She gets in a stance that implies the victim swung downward. "Probably to kill mice." Izzy begins to pretend to kill mice and makes noises.

"Izzy!" Bones yells.

"Sorry. But maybe it was just a simple carnival game."

"If so, I know what carnival." Hodgins walks up. "During an earlier case I borrowed the hammer machine from a carnival in the D.C. area. We can check to see if the victim was there the night he died."

"How?" Bones asks.

"Because I have the facial reconstruction." Angela says as she walks up to Hodgins' side. Her and Hodgins smile at each other. Angela hands the picture to Booth. "I got a hit off the FBI website. The victim's name is Free Waterfall."

"Thanks, Angela." Booth says. "Ok Bones, let's go." He and Bones leave the lab.

Meanwhile, in the autopsy room…

Hodgins walks in and sees Cam working on the flesh.

"I thought Brennan said there wasn't much the flesh could tell us?" he asks.

"Well, I don't advise Brennan on bones, and she shouldn't advise me on flesh." Cam says and takes a blood sample from the victim's remaining flesh. "I'll be able to tell what drugs were in this guys system when he was waxed off. Weren't there any particulates in the urinal?" Cam asks.

"Nothing special. Feces, urin stains, grease from carnival food, actual bits of carnival food." Hodgins says.

"You could have just left it at nothing special." Cam says.

"Sorry." He says and walks away.

Meanwhile, at the carnival…

Booth and Bones walk up to the gate.

"Hey, I'm special agent Seeley Booth, and this here's my partner Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian. We need to talk to the manager." He says as he flashes his badge.

"His office is back behind the hammer game. Is something wrong?" the guy asks.

"Nothing, just keep doing your job." Booth says. He and Bones head to the office and knock. A short man opens the door.

"Can I help you?" the short man asks.

"Yeah, I'm FBI. Have you seen this boy before?" Booth shows the man the picture.

"Oh my God." The man rubs his head.

"Are you okay, sir?" Booth asks.

"How would you feel when an FBI agent came to you holding up a picture of your son?" he says and goes in his office to sit. "Please, come in." he says.

Bones and booth walk in and sit.

"Look, my name's Jonah Waterfall, but around here I'm called Old Man Waterfall. Tell me, what has my son done this time?" Jonah Waterfall asks.

"Umm, your son is dead, Mr. Waterfall." Booth says. "We found his body in a urinal ten miles west of here. Did your son, by chance have drug problems?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought this was about. I knew he was having trouble, but I decided not to interfere. I'd grown tired of it. The kid at the front gate usually buys drugs with him. Try talking to him." Jonah says.

"Ok." Booth says and he and Bones leave the room and see that the guy who was at the front gate is gone. "That's just great."

"Booth, it's just a teenager. Once you put out a small patrol out, he'll be found in no time." Bones says.

"Yeah, I'll make the call." Booth says and he pulls out his phone.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Hodgins and Angela sit up and button up their clothes.

"Man, that was great!" Angela exclaims. "We should have sex more often. Marriage shouldn't destroy sex the way it does."

"Yeah, I feel a lot better." Hodgins says. He stands and goes to help Angela up, but she stumbles a bit. "Whoa, you ok?"

"I'm fine, just a bit tired. Guess I'm too out of practice."

"Out of practice for what?" Gwen asks and they quickly turn around.

"Oh, hey Gwen. Sorry, I totally spaced and forgot about our lunch date. Let me go use the restroom and I'll be back soon." Angela leaves the room.

"I see you two have re-ignited your sex life." Gwen says.

"How'd you know?"

"Because we've had sex, and I know how you look after." Gwen smiles and raises her eyebrows. Sweets walks in.

"I thought you two ended things." Sweets says.

"Relax, Sweets. It's not what you think." Hodgins says.

"No, my first duty is to the FBI, and if this thing between you causes problems, this will impede our investigations. I have to tell Angela."

"No, stop it, ok. If you tell Angela, that'll only cause problems between us that don't already exists. Just stop being a shrink for five minutes and you'll see what I mean." Hodgins says, a little frustrated.

"Hey, Sweets. Wanna join the three of us for lunch?" Angela asks.

"Sure."

Gwen and Angela walk out of the room smiling and talking.

"See, everything is fine. Now, come to lunch with us, have some fun, and keep what you heard to yourself." Sweets nods and follows Hodgins out the door.

Meanwhile, at Bones' apartment…

"I just got the call. A small patrol caught the kid the next town over. He confessed to killing Free Waterfall because Waterfall was going straight to please his dad and was going to turn both of them in. He may have been a burden to his dad, but at least he was going to make amends." Booth says and sits next to Bones on the couch.

"So, how was Jared when you talked to him?" Bones asks.

"You know, the typical little brother. He'll be back eventually. Hopefully more sober than when he left. But, I think I wanna change the subject." Booth says with a smile. He leans over and Bones smiles and receives his kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Total Drama Lab Chapter Eight: "The drum major in the fridge"

Duncan walks up to the lab table and stops to see everyone staring at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I'm FBI, and these are some of the most brilliant minds in the world. Do you really think we wouldn't find out?" Booth says mysteriously.

"Yeah, I guess." Duncan rubs his head.

"We want you out of this lab immediately. Understand?" Booth says threateningly.

"I got it." Duncan nods his head and leaves the lab.

A week later in Duncan's frat house…

Duncan goes down stairs and straight to the kitchen.

"Hey Geoff, want something to drink?" he asks and grabs the fridge handle.

"Naw, I'm good bro." he says from upstairs.

Duncan opens the fridge and sees a corpse inside. "Ohhh, shit!" he yells as he backs up.

Geoff comes down. "Dude, what's wrong?" he looks in the fridge. "Ohhh, shit!" he jumps back next to Duncan.

Hours later, Duncan's grad house is a crime scene…

"Is this some sort of joke?" Booth asks Duncan.

"No, I came down and he was in the fridge. Look, I was gone for the weekend with my pal Geoff. We got back last night. Thevictim was a friend of mines, too. His name was DJ. Anyone in this house could've killed him, and let me tell you something else. I won't rest until I know who."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"I'll help in the case. I'll be a suspect who's cooperating."

"I'm sorry, but your forensic knowledge doesn't seem high enough." Bones says.

"Look, I know I got the job by accident, but since my first time working with you guys, I felt good about myself. I started studying relentlessly on forensics and papers you, Dr. Sroyan and Hodgins wrote. I can prove it, just follow me." He leads them up to his room and opens the door.

His room is full of forensic journals, articles, papers, and textbooks. Bones raises an eyebrow.

"I might be willing to take back my opinion now. I would actually like you to assist in determining who murdered your friend. But, I'll have my intern Chris constantly looking over your shoulder." Bones says.

"Fair enough." Duncan says. "I can provide names of the other three guys who live here."

"How do you know one of your house mates did it?" Booth asks.

"Because this is a house of five guys. Things don't always go well. Sleeping with the same girl, who stole whose dru..drums, etc. DJ was actually the drum major for our university." Duncan explains.

Later, at the lab table…

Duncan walks up to the lab table where Bones, Cam, and Chris are waiting on him.

"We've already taken at a look at your friend's body and stripped it clean so you don't have to look at your friends in the face while you examine the remains. We'll compare your observations to our own." Bones says.

"Got it." Duncan says. He goes over the body. "Ok, I've noted several remodeled fractures along the tibula and femurs, occupational markers of a person who marches. In this case, a drum major. The most probable cause of death is like the several cuts in the bone along the L1 and L2 vertebrae and the ribs bones. The most likely scenario is that the victim was stabbed in those places to make it possible for the body to be bent enough to place in the fridge." Duncan turns to them.

"Impressive, Duncan." Cam says.

"Nice work, but your appearance could use some sprucing up. It's embarrassing for us beautiful doctors to be seen with you." Chris says.

"Are you serious?" Duncan asks sarcastically.

"Moving on. Hodgins swabbed the cuts on the bone and should be done with his examination any minute. After that, we can use his results to further the investigation." Bones says.

"I'm here." Hodgins appears. "There were traces of metal in the cuts, most likely from the blade used to kill the victim." Hodgins looks at Duncan who sighs. "Sorry, Duncan." Hodgins clears his throat. "I can go down to the weapons department and compare the sample to any possible murder weapons." Hodgins takes off.

"So, what now?" Duncan asks Bones.

"We wait on Booth and Sweets to finish the interrogation." She says.

Meanwhile, in the interrogation room…

The other three frat brothers are sitting across from Booth. Each of them is wearing a white beater and jeans.

"So, I'm sure you have figured out by now why you're here, right?" Booth asks. They all nod yes slowly. "Well, the thing is, we have reason to believe one of you killed DJ. Now, if one of you confesses or gives me a name, then this can end."

The three frat boys look at each other and think about it. The frat guy to the right squints at the other two, but the other two look confused.

"Booth, focus on the one to the right. His body language is different from the other two, but theirs suggest they're hiding something. Target the one to the right to put the other two at ease and then slam them with questions and catch them with a mistake in their logic. It's the best tool to confuse frat guys." Sweets says over the com-link.

"So, you, to the right, how well did you know DJ?" Booth asks.

"We were in marching band together, so we were pretty tight, until he met Geoff and Duncan. I mean, Geoff was just some party boy, and Duncan got all obsessed with his forensic bullshit. But I wouldn't kill DJ, me and him were still friends." He says.

"I see, and do you have an alibi for this weekend?"

"I was at marching band practice for most of the weekend. DJ didn't make it to the last one, and that was right before the game. You can ask the coach and other members if I was there." He says in his defense.

Booth faces the other two. "What about you guys? What are your alibis?" The two frat boys freeze for a second.

"At a party." They say at the same time.

"Well, it's just a matter of time before we figure out who's story is correct. We have a search warrant for your house, and I'm sure we'll find the murder weapon there, along with the killer's fingerprints. You're free to go." Booth says as he walks out and into the room where Sweets is.

"Nice job. They're all scared now." Sweets says.

"Yeah, and I'm sure what the killer's next move will be. I'll grab Duncan and be back later." Booth says and leaves.

Later, outside the frat house…

The frat guy from the middle is carrying a hedge trimmer to the garbage. He grabs the lid, but looks up when Booth and Duncan slam their fists on it.

"Hey, whatcha got there?" Booth asks condescendingly. "What could that possibly be, Duncan?"

"Possibly the murder weapon." Duncan puts on his gloves and snatches the hedge trimmer. He swabs it with a q-tip and dips it in a liquid solution. The solution turns blue. "It's been in contact with human blood, and I'm sure it'll match DJ's DNA."

"Tell you what, Duncan. I'll take this evidence back to the truck slowly and whatever you do until I get back will just be between you and him." Booth grabs the hedge trimmer and walks away slowly.

"I'm going to enjoy this." Duncan cracks his knuckles and approaches the frat guy.


	9. Chapter 9

Total Drama Lab Chapter Nine: "The model on the cross"

A priest and his altar boy walk into the chapel to prepare for the service. They look up and see a dead woman on a corpse. The altar boy runs away screaming. The priest, however, has seen this before, mostly because the priest is not just any priest, but he is Bones' father, Max Keenan.

Two hours later…

A full forensics team is sweeping the chapel. Bones and Booth are talking to her father.

"Dad, why are you impersonating a priest again?" Bones asks.

"Oh, I'm not impersonating this time. I'm a legit priest here. Anyway, we should focus on the dead woman." He says.

"Yeah, so is the woman a regular here?" Booth asks.

"Nope, I haven't seen her face around since I started the position a year ago."

"Then someone just went out of their way to post a dead woman on the cross, I don't get it." Booth says.

"There's some symbolism in her death. I'm sure it'll become clear once you identify who she is." Max says.

"Ok, let's get her back to the lab." Bones says.

In the Jeffersonian lab…

Bones and Cam are leaning over the body, cataloging the injuries.

"There are bruises along the arms, congruent with being grabbed tightly. The hands and feet have holes in them, probably from being nailed to the cross. The face is virtually untouched, no bruising or visible scars, although, there are inconsistencies with flesh. Her breasts have a different color than the rest of her skin, and not because of a tan." Cam says and opens her robe. "These are implants."

"Anthropologically speaking, sometimes when someone from an old world culture tries to fit in with modern society, it can cause a problem among them, and could possibly lead to murder. This person may have offended someone in the chapel. I'll have my dad send me a list of the older members of his covent immediately." Bones says and pulls out her phone.

Chris walks up.

"Sorry, I'm late." He looks at the body. "Oh, my God! This isn't possible!" he puts his hands on his head.

"Do you know the victim?" Cam asks.

"Don't you! This is a national model right here! Her name is Alison Lynn, she was miss America three years running!" Chris exclaims.

"Are you ok?" Hodgins asks as he walks up. Chris runs to hug him. "Ok, ok, it'll all be better soon." Hodgins rubs Chris' back.

"So, find anything Hodgins?" Cam asks.

"Hey, we're having a moment here. I'm still not fully on board with your new bossiness thing yet." He says sharply.

"Whatever."

"Ok, I'm off to meet my dad and get the list. Chris, while I'm gone, assist Hodgins and Cam with whatever they have to do and examine the bone before I return." Bones leaves and Booth joins her at the door.

"So, how can I help?" Chris asks.

"I just need to swab the wounds for any trace particulates. After that, Cam'll perform some top screens and an autopsy and have the bones clean for you to take a look at." Hodgins slaps Chris' arm and starts swabbing.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Gwen is applying the finishing touches on her painting. She finishes and puts her brush down.

"So, what do you think?" Gwen asks Angela.

"Your art is good, but your brush strokes are too heavy and visible." She has a coughing spell. "I would suggest using a thicker paint or having a lighter touch. Other than that, your art is amazing." Angela says.

"Thanks. I'm trying to get a second job in an art studio. I need a portfolio to submit, along with a letter of recommendation. I was wondering if you could write it for me."

"Sure, of course. I can get it to you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Ang." Gwen smiles and Angela gets a text message.

"Umm, you can stay here for now. I have to go. My dad is in town and wants to have lunch. If Hodgins asks about me, just tell him 'the Texan is here' and he'll know what it means." She says and leaves.

Gwen wipes off her hands and goes to throw away the rag. She sees something interesting in the trash.

Meanwhile, in Hodgins' lab…

Hodgins is analyzing the residue from the remains. Gwen walks in.

"Hey, Angela wanted me to tell you 'the Texan is here.'" Gwen says.

"Huh, this seems random, even for him. But, how'd the painting go?"

"It was ok. Anything interesting on your part?"

"I found only two things in the wounds. Holy water and miniscule amounts of oxidized metal, or bits of rusted metal, probably from the nail used to pin the victim to the cross. I've compared the rust to the rate of oxidation chart I've been developing for certain types of metal." He says. "Once I determine what type of nail it was, we can try and narrow our suspect list down once Dr. Brennan gets back."

Meanwhile, at the chapel…

"Hey, sweetie. Here's the list." Max gives it to Booth.

"Thanks, Max. So, how's the priest life? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, your calls have slowed down recently." Bones adds on.

"I've been trying more to forget about my past as a criminal. I figure if I worked as someone who consuls others on what to do, then I'd learn what to do. So far, no luck. I think I'm going to 'disappear' pretty soon." He says.

"If you need a place to disappear to, my apartment's open." Bones says.

"I'll just spend time with your brother. Besides, I don't want to learn beyond the shadow of a doubt that you two are having sex." Max says and sighs. Bones and Booth look at each other and inch from each other slightly.

Later, at the lab table…

Hodgins runs up excited.

"King of the lab!" he exclaims.

"You haven't said anything yet." Cam says.

"I've used my own chart, patent-pending, to determine what type of nail was used on our victim. The rust levels were most in common with those of industrial nails used for applying the insulation between the inner and outer walls of buildings currently being constructed. I bet one of the people on that list Brennan's dad gave us is a construction worker." Hodgins leans forward with his hands out.

"That's correct." Bones says. "Good job, Dr. Hodgins."

"King of the lab! In your face, Cam!" Hodgins says. Cam folds her arms.

"I'll tell Booth. Him and Sweets are in the interrogation room waiting on us to say which one they should question." Bones says.

Meanwhile, in the interrogation room…

Booth looks at his phone and puts it away.

"So, which of you works in construction applying insulation for buildings?" Booth asks.

"I do." The one to the left says. "My name is Calvin Hertz."

"Ok. The rest of you are free to go." Booth says and the other suspects leave.

"Booth, first establish his knowledge of the victim, and then keep him talking. I'll listen and tell you when I pick u on something important." Sweets says over the com-link.

"I killed the woman. I'm old school, and I don't believe in the parading around of the body, or in the unnatural altering of it either. Even in my own granddaughter." He says.

Booth raises his eyebrows.

'I know I'm no looker, but I'll be damned before I let my own flesh and blood do it either! Now, read me my rights and take me in!" Calvin demands.

Booth gets up and reads Calvin his rights and puts him in handcuffs. Sweets cuts off the com-link and sighs.

Meanwhile, at the diner…

"So, honey, what's so urgent that I had to come out so fast?" Angela's dad asks.

"I'm pregnant, but Hodgins doesn't know yet. No one but the two of us knows. Should I keep it?" she asks him.

"Ok, honey, I'm about to real honest right now. I hope you're ready for it." He says and takes off his sunglasses to reveal his clear eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Total Drama Lab Chapter Ten: "The tiger with the arm"

A tiger in the zoo is in his pen, with a recently discovered murder victim's arm in his mouth. The tiger thought the body was his meal and took the arm as an appetizer. Bones, Cam, Booth, Hodgins, Angela, Sweets, and Owen all look at the tiger from right outside the cage. The tiger trainer is there, too.

"Can't you just, you know, go in there and get it from him?" Booth asks the trainer.

"No can do. I may be the only one who can get close to the tiger, but no way I'm going to try and steal something from it that it's eating. The tiger will take that as a challenge, and I like living, thank you." The trainer says.

"Booth, we need the tiger and the arm now. He's eaten at least forty percent of it by now. Evidence is in its stomach. We need to bring it back to the lab before the digestive acids in its stomach dissolve the evidence and before it ingests the rest of the arm." Bones says.

"Ok, but we need someone crazy enough to go in there."

"Ok, I'll do it." Owen says.

"NOOO!" they all yell.

"Are you nuts? You're more of a meal for it then that arm. You go in there and it'll go after you like a pregnant woman after a prime rib with legs!" Hodgins says.

Angela darts her eyes at the ground. Sweets looks at Angela and then to Hodgins. He goes to Angela's side.

"We should talk later." He whispers in her ear. She looks at him and nods awkwardly.

"Look, we have to know someone willing to go in there." Booth says.

"I think I know someone." Bones says and pulls out her phone.

Later, at the zoo…

Izzy is inching her way toward the tiger very slowly.

"This reminds me of the time I was in the Indian jungle with head hunters. If not for that tiger that ambushed us, I wouldn't have been lost without my teammates for the next three weeks." She says.

"Izzy, focus on the tiger right in front of you!" Booth yells.

"Right, sorry." Izzy tip toes over to the tiger and it growls. She slowly backs off. Suddenly she lunges and lets out a battle cry as she jumps on the tiger and stabs it with a tranquilizer in the neck. The tiger crashes before it can get at Izzy's throat, luckily. "Ok, I got it!" she yells to them.

They all look at her with awe.

"Oh. My. God." Hodgins says.

At the Jeffersonian lab…

The tiger is in center of the lab station in a cage and growls often.

"How are we getting this tiger to the x-ray machine?" Owen asks.

"We need to take it out. There's no way to get it there in this cage. I'll have Booth call the trainer. In the meantime, Owen, do a preliminary examination of the remains with Dr. Saroyan." Bones says and goes to call Booth.

Meanwhile, in Sweets' office…

"So, I've noted a few changes in your behavior around the lab, and especially around Hodgins. Is there something going on?" Sweets asks.

"It's nothing that Hodgins has done or anything. It's just, I don't how to deal with this new thing I've been going through." She says.

"New thing? You aren't pregnant are you? Is that why you flinched at Hodgins' statement earlier about pregnant women?"

"It's just, I want to tell him, but after hearing that, I don't know how he'll feel about me, or if he even will want to keep the baby." Angela ruffles through her hair.

"I think you should seek advice on this from someone you're connected to more than me. I know you and Hodgins love each other, but I don't want to say anything in depth on this one."

"I already talked to my dad. He wants me to keep it. The only other people I can ask are Brennan, Gwen, and of course, Hodgins." She says.

"Then talk to them in that order. I'm sure by the end you'll know what to do." Sweets says.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

The trainer releases the tiger and drags it toward the x-ray room behind Bones and Cam. FBI agents are scattered throughout the lab with guns in case the tiger breaks loose. The trainer puts the tiger on the machine and joins Bones and Cam in the safety room. Cam starts the machine and the image shows up on the screen.

"We're too late. The tiger has already fully digested whatever he ate from the victim's arm. We have to complete the investigation based off of what we get from the rest of the remains." Cam says. "I'll perform a top screen and release the remains to Owen right after."

"Ok, I'll go and alert Booth the tiger is no longer needed." Bones says. Her and the trainer leave.

At the entrance…

The trainer drives off with the tiger. Booth and the other agents drive away, too. Bones watches them leave. Angela walks up behind her.

"Sweetie, can we talk?" she asks.

"Sure. Is something wrong, Ang?" Bones asks back.

Later, in Angela's office…

"Ang, you know I'm no good in these situations. I'm happy for you, of course, but this is something you should go over with Hodgins instead of me. If you decide to keep it, I'll be happy to be your child's honorary aunt." Bones says.

"Thanks, sweetie. You were a big help." Angela says, a little annoyed.

"You're thanking me, but I can tell by your tone I didn't actually help. I'm sorry."

"Dr. Brennan, Cam's done. We can examine the bones now." Owen says and leaves the room. Bones gets up and walks out. Gwen walks in right as Bones exits the room.

"Hey, are you ok?" Gwen asks.

"I'm just gonna get straight to the point. I'm pregnant with Hodgins' child and I don't know how to tell him." Angela says. "I've already talked to my dad, Sweets, and Brennan, and now you."

"Ang, I appreciate that you'd come to me with this, but you should really talk to Hodgins. He'll be glad, I know. He's so gentle when he speaks, he never lets a smile go unreturned, and he just has this way of comforting you that makes you feel amazing. Just talk to him." Gwen pats Ang on her leg and walks to the door. "Oh, by the way, I already knew. You should really do home pregnancy tests at home, Ang." She says before walking away.

Angela thinks about what Gwen said and figures that there's something wrong.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Hodgins walks up. "Hey, there were no residual amounts of any traceable substances. So, this case probably won't be solved without witnesses, which we have none of I'm assuming." Hodgins looks at his watch. "Well, my day is over. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Hodgins heads for the door. "Ang, I'll be in the car!" he yells in her direction.

Later, in Hodgins' apartment…

Hodgins and Angela are cooped up together on the couch watching tv.

"Hodgins, I have to tell you something." She raises her head from his shoulder to look at him. He meets her gaze.

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant."

Hodgins looks at her with a blank expression that progresses into a smile. He hugs her and she hugs him back.

"This is amazing news!" he says. "I'm going to be a daddy!"

"I was worried you wouldn't be happy about it. I had to talk to Brennan, my dad, and Gwen about it, even Sweets. I was just really nervous about telling you. And that leads to my next question. Gwen was talking to me and she knew stuff about you that only I should know." Angela says.

Hodgins doesn't flinch but inside he panics.

"Hodgins, I want you to be totally honest. Is or was there something between you and Gwen?" she asks.


	11. Chapter 11

Total Drama Lab Chapter Eleven: "The honest man with a family of four"

It's silent in Hodgins' car as he and Angela drive to work.

"Ang, I said I was sorry, I let your dad tattoo me, and even slept on the couch for a whole week, what else do you want? I just want these to be normal again!" he exclaims.

"You should've thought of that before sleeping with my best friend. The only reason I haven't divorced you is because I still love you." She says. "I just need some time to be angry. You'll just have to deal with it for a while."

"Ang, I'm sorry. I love you, too." He says softly.

Meanwhile, at the latest crime scene…

The remains are in a garbage bag. Bones cuts it open and the bones scatter along the ground.

"Gwen, bag those." She orders.

Gwen begins picking up the pieces.

"So Bones, what's the plan?" Booth asks.

"Let's just get back to the lab." Bones says and walks away.

"Is something wrong?" Gwen asks.

"Didn't she say to bag the bones." Booth snaps at her. Gwen sighs and keeps going.

Later, at the Jeffersonian…

The skeleton has been re-assembled perfectly.

"Excellent work, Gwen." Bones says.

"Thanks, Dr. B. Oh, I started cataloging the breaks so far. I've determined that the only remodels evident on the bone are from adolescence. No recent or current fractures evident anywhere, suggesting he was not killed with force, but possibly through natural means or ingestion of toxic substances. But, without any flesh, no way to tell." Gwen explains.

"Not a bad start, but I wouldn't say there are no recent fractures. Take a look here." Bones points to the mandible.

"I don't see anything."

"You're great at determining fractures, but you need to make more notice of microfractures. If you look the top right lateral incisor, you'd notice it's cracked and loose." Bones wiggles the tooth.

"Oh. Sorry, Dr. B, I'll do better next time."

"I'd hope so. With all the time you spend here, you should be much better than you are. I expect improvement." Bones says. "I'll call Hodgins and have him swab the tooth and have Cam check it for any DNA." Bones ends out a text and walks away.

Angela walks up to the lab table to take a look at the skull.

"Hey, Angela." Gwen says. Angela ignores Gwen and starts her sketch. "Fair enough."

Meanwhile, in Sweets office…

What do you mean, 'irritated'?" Sweets asks. He sits in his chair.

Booth sits on the couch. "She normally gets bossy at the crime scene, but today she seemed annoyed about something."

"That's not like Dr. Brennan. Is there something going on between the two of you at home?"

"No, everything's going good. That's why I'm here asking you. I need you to follow her for a while. Use your mojo and find out why she's upset."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"And I have a gun, so.." Booth smiles and claps his hands.

"Fine." Sweets grabs his nose.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Cam walks up to the table as Angela finishes the sketch.

"Ok, I've got the man's face." She shows the picture. "Whoever he was, he was pretty hot. I'll see if I can get a hit off the FBI database." She goes to her office.

"Wow, didn't even have to ask. So, has Hodgins stopped by to swab yet?" she asks.

"Yeah, he came and actually finished really fast. The only substance evident on the bone was blood. I've bagged the tooth for you to check the blood for DNA. It might have the killers. It's a long shot, but maybe the person who hit cut their knuckles on the tooth." Gwen says.

"I wouldn't tell Dr. Brennan you're just guessing now. Seriously Gwen, snap it up." Cam says and takes the tooth to test.

Gwen takes a breath as Hodgins walks up.

"Hey, you having a rough day too?" Hodgins asks.

"More than rough. Dr. B and Cam are all over me, and now Angela hates me. I can't survive here much longer. Apparently my skills at reading bone fractures aren't on par with everyone else's. I've studied forensics since undergraduate school this shouldn't be this hard for me." Gwen answers.

"Hmm, I have an idea. Forensic anthropology is only one aspect of our investigations. Izzy, Chris, Duncan and Owen have that skill, but you, you're an artist. Why not have Angela teach you to do facial reconstructions."

"But she hates me now."

"Ang may hate you, but professionally, she won't turn you away. Just don't bring me up no matter what. Go and ask her."

"Thanks, Hodgins." She hugs him and heads for Angela's office.

Meanwhile, at the diner…

Bones is sitting at a booth with her dad and brother.

"I won't do it." Bones says.

"Come on, honey, it's only three months." Max says.

"It'll be the first thing we'll be able to as a family after so long. How can you even deny that chance?" Russ says. "Weren't you the one who said you became a forensic anthropologist so you'd be able to find all of us one day. Now that you have, you're treating us like strangers." His voice raises.

"Russ, I'll handle this." Max pats his shoulder.

Sweets sees them right before going in and turns around.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Angela and Cam are talking and looking at Angela's screen.

"I think we can safely assume that the female DNA that was in the victim's teeth came from one of these three women." Cam says.

"I can't believe this Mr. Lake was a polygamist. I bet one of them got a little too jealous and didn't want to share him anymore." Angela says and laughs.

"I don't think so. They would go after each other if that were the case. I'll call Booth and have him get warrant for their DNA. We'll compare them to the sample we got from the tooth. Gwen was only guessing, but it turned out in her favor this time."

"I think you and Brennan should give her a break. I mean, she's been keeping up with the other interns. If not for me distracting her with her art job, then she'd be able to surpass the other easily."

"I thought you were pissed at her for sleeping with Hodgins."

"I was, for about a day or two. But then I tried to convince myself that I didn't care and now there's all this left over anger lingering around. I still love Hodgins and think of Gwen as a little sister, it's just this anger won't go away."

"I have a solution." Gwen says and they both turn to her.

"I quit."

"What? No, don't quit because of me." Angela says.

"Look, Ang, I wouldn't have that job at the art studio if not for you. If I quit here, I can focus more on my art. Plus, I'll still visit for pointers every now and then. Look, I'm sorry about the Hodgins thing, I really am. Besides, if I stayed here, there's a chance our situation could end up like it did for this guy, and I'd rather avoid that. I'll send in my letter of resignation tonight." Gwen turns around and leaves.

Angela and Cam look at each other with faces filled with guilt.

Meanwhile, in Booth's office…

Booth is doing some paper work. Sweets knocks on the door.

"Come in." Booth says.

"Brennan isn't mad at you or anyone in the lab. I shadowed her to the diner, and she was having an argument with her family."

"Ok. Well, I'll handle it from here. Thanks, Sweets."

Sweets walks away and flails his arms.

Meanwhile, at Sweets apartment…

Sweets sticks his key in the door. Max pulls Sweets and slams him against the wall on the opposite side of the hall.

"Why are you spying on my daughter?" Max exclaims.


	12. Chapter 12

Total Drama Lab Chapter Twelve: "The skull in the basket"

Hodgins and Angela are walking to the lab and holding hands and laughing.

"So, excited for the ultrasound tonight?" Angela asks.

"Of course!" Hodgins exclaims.

They get to the door of the lab and see a basket covered in a red blanket. Hodgins picks it up and unwraps it. Angela covers her mouth.

"This is bad." Hodgins says.

Later, at the lab table…

Everyone but Sweets and Angela are present.

"Wait, someone just left this at the front door?" Cam asks.

"Yeah, wrapped in a red blanket. I think it's a message." Hodgins says.

"I agree with Hodgins. Someone is calling us out. We need to find the rest of this victim's body. Bones, anything you can do with the skull by itself?" Booth asks.

"I can try and determine if the head being cut off was cause of death. I think we can learn the victim's identity by comparing his face using the FBI database." Bones goes to the head and tilts the head. "Izzy, what do you see?"

"There is definite hemorrhagic staining on the vertebrae, meaning the head being severed from the body was cause of death. That reminds me of the time I was with the head hunters. Hemorrhagic staining was everywhere." Izzy lets out her laugh again. "Sorry."

"I can perform a routine examination of the head and see what it can tell us." Cam says and takes the skull away.

"Ok, I'm thinking this is probably going to lead to another serial killer, so I want all of you guys to stay here. No one goes anywhere without an FBI escort. I'll check missing persons to see if there's a match for the victim." Booth says and walks away.

Meanwhile, in Hodgins' office…

Hodgins is tending to his tarantulas. He milks them one by one. Angela walks in.

"Baby, can you put that thing away, please?" Angela asks.

"Sure." Hodgins put the spider back in the tank with the other ones.

"Is it true? Are we going to have another serial killer after us?"

"That's what Booth said, and I kind of agree with him. But we're the best around. We took down Epps, Gormogon, and the Gravedigger, although the Gravedigger has escaped. We'll take this new one down, too."

"Wow, you're all excited. Something I should know?" Angela asks jokingly.

"Well, right now I don't have anything to do, so all I can think about is the ultrasound."

"Yeah, what if it's a girl?" she asks.

"Then I'll name her Michaela Conlin Montenegro."

"And what if it's a boy?"

"Then you choose the name."

"I kind of like Michael Vincent Stakato Hodgins. The Stakato part is to satisfy my dad, sorry."

"Fair enough." Hodgins thinks for a second. "The basket!" H e rushes out of his office.

Meanwhile, in the autopsy lab…

Cam uses a standard saw to remove the top of the skull. Booth walks in.

"Whoa, what are you doing that for?" Booth asks.

"Well, since we know that the victim was killed by having his head severed, maybe there's some damage to the brain. I can determine how the victim was held down long enough for such a clean cut to be made. Did you get any hits from missing persons?"

"Yeah, our victim was the owner of an ostrich farm. His name was Ben Edith. I've contacted his wife and she's coming in soon." He scratches his head.

"Is there a reason you came here, Seeley?" Cam asks.

"Has Bones seemed to switch moods a lot lately?"

"Actually, I've noticed. I think something is wrong with her family life. Sweets told me her dad paid him a visit not too long ago."

"Wait, he told you and not me?" Booth gets upset.

"Well, you're dating her. Sweets probably didn't want you to make things worse. Besides, I think Brennan can handle herself. Relax, Booth, she'll be fine. Now, go talk to the wife." Cam says and Booth walks away.

Meanwhile, in the diner…

Bones is sitting with her dad.

"Honey, it's only three months away from Booth. After that, things will go back to normal." Max says.

"Look, dad, I researched the institute. It's a year-long program. It would be a good thing for me and Russ to do, but it's not the best time." Bones says.

"Honey, think of it rationally. The institute not only comes with prestige and honor, but also the chance to be mentioned in the Forensic archive with the other best anthropologist. Russ and I would only last there for three months, but you would make it all the way through." Max argues.

"Dad, I appreciate the offer, but I've already made plans for the next year. While researching the institute, I found this program that allows me to go on a dig for early man. I'm doing that instead. End of story." Bones gets up and storms off.

Max sighs and the waitress walks up.

"Here's your bill." She says and walks away.

Meanwhile, in the witness room…

Booth is sitting at the table with the victim's wife.

"Did your husband have any enemies?" Booth asks.

"Umm, no human ones." She says.

"Come again."

"We had an ostrich farm near the woods. Wolves made frequent trips to our land and ate our livestock. This drove Ben over the line."

"But they're just wolves. If he wanted to save his farm, he should've moved."

"The wolves weren't wild. They came from my mother's home deep in the woods." Booth gives her weird look. "We're a very nature loving family. Anyway, she would sick the wolves on our farm and Ben got mad when he found out. Our daughter would make trips to her grandma's house every so often, but now she's missing. Ben went up there just before he went missing, too. I reported him missing two days later. I would've went to see my mother, but I didn't want to be the next one missing." She tears up. Booth hands her a glass of water.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Edith. I'll get a team and we'll go and talk to your mother. If we find your daughter, she'll be returned to you safely."

"Thank you." She says and sips her water.

The next day, in the woods…

Booth and his team are heading to the mother's house.

"Booth, wait!" Bones yells from behind the team. Booth goes to her.

"Bones, what are you doing here?" he asks.

"Wolves are dangerous, and I figured I could assist you in dealing with them." Bones says.

"But you don't have a gun."

"Yes, I do." She says and pulls out a big one. "Now, let's go." Booth smiles and they continue toward the house.

At the house…

The team reach the edge of the house and there's an axe lodged in the stump to the side. The wolves come from behind the house very slowly. The team raises their guns.

"Wait, we don't want to spook them. These wolves have been tamed, so they don't have their full instincts they would have if raised wildly. There is no alpha male among them, so if they attack, it'll be a complete group attempt. Booth, if you walk up and challenge them, they'll back down with no clear leader to accept it." Bones says.

"Are you crazy? I'm not doing that!" Booth protests.

"Fine, I'll do it." Bones slowly walks up and the wolves all look to each other. Bones gets closer and they run away. She turns around. "See, not a problem. Now, let's go inside."

They go inside the house. The mother is on the ground with a bloody gash in her torso.

"Booth, grab the axe. I'm sure it'll match the gash in this victim, as well as the cut used to behead the first victim." Booth nods to her and goes outside.

Later, in the witness room…

Booth and Bones are at the table with Mrs. Edith.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Edith. We found your mother dead, and your daughter was nowhere to be found. We'll keep looking for her, but the investigation will go cold. We'll give you a call when something comes up." Booth says.

"We're sorry for your losses." Bones says.

Mrs. Edith starts to cry really bad.

Meanwhile, in the hospital…

Angela is in the hospital bed and the doctor finishes applying the gel. Hodgins grabs Angela's hand. The doctor works wipes the machine over her stomach and the image of their child appears on screen.

"That right there, that's your baby girl." The doctor says and points.

Angela and Hodgins smile and tear up. They look at each other and kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

Total Drama Lab Chapter Thirteen: "The return and the ticket"

The gang are in court trying to convict a woman of killing her husband. Caroline and the opposing lawyer are awaiting the judge's order.

"Closing arguments, please." The judge says.

"Your honor, the accusing have only been able to determine my client had means and motive, but they yet to determine my client actually killed her husband. They were married, so of course her DNA would be present on his body. Look, with nothing placing her at the murder scene, it's a done deal." The opposing lawyer says and sits down.

"Ms. Julian, your turn."

"With pleasure." She stands and faces the jury. "Now, my opponent over there may have you convinced that we couldn't place the defendant at the crime scene, but while he was giving his touching speech, I got word that we have said evidence. Time to call in the closer." Caroline whistles and Hodgins and Harold walk in and take the stand. "Now, dirt nerds. Is there any clear evidence linking the defendant to the murder scene?"

"Dirt nerds is offensive. The actual term is entomology." Harold says. Caroline gives him a glare.

"Yes, we did find evidence. The victim's wife works at a post office and she seals the envelopes. The residue on the seal of an envelope was found on the murder weapon used to kill the victim. We also found traces of skin on the weapon that stuck in the residue and the DNA matches the victim's wife's DNA." Hodgins says.

"That's it, your honor." Caroline says and sits down.

Later, at Founding Fathers…

The gang, except Angela, are all at a table celebrating the victory in court.

"Let's give it up to the dirt nerds. Who knew dirt would ever help solve a case." Caroline says. Everyone laughs except Harold.

"Again, dirt nerds is not the appropriate-"

"Dude, just relax. It's only a joke." Hodgins assures him.

"Well, I have to go home early. Spending the day with Parker tomorrow." Booth kisses Bones and leaves.

Bones sips her drink.

"Brennan, does he know you're leaving yet?" Cam asks.

Caroline spits out her drink. "You're leaving?"

"Yes, I am leaving, and no, I haven't told Booth yet." Bones says.

"You're leaving in a month Brennan, shouldn't you tell him soon?" Hodgins asks.

"Look, Booth and I have only been dating for a few months. He does not need to know everything about my life. I didn't know he was going to see Parker tomorrow."

"You're comparing a day to a year?" Sweets asks. "Dr. Brennan, may I give you some advice?"

"No, my mind is made up." She takes another sip. The others give up and sip theirs, too.

The next day, at the park…

Parker is swinging and Booth is watching from the edge of the park. A soldier sits next to Booth.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Booth asks, annoyed.

"Hello, Master Sergeant Booth." The soldier says.

"No, it's Special Agent Booth. I'm not a soldier anymore."

"Look, you're needed to serve your country. This time as a Sergeant Major."

"You think a promotion is really going to get me to do what I've already done. I don't think so."

"If you don't come, people will die like Parker did."

"Don't go guilting about that. I am done here." Booth stands up. "Parker! Let's go!"

Parker jumps off the swing and runs towards Booth.

"Like I said, I'm not doing it anymore."

Booth grabs Parkers hand and they leave. The soldier sighs.

Meanwhile, in Bones' office…

Bones is doing work at her computer when her four interns come in.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Dr. B, we heard about the dig you were going on for a year." Owen says.

"And we'd like to go with you." Duncan says.

"As long as there are plenty of hot girls." Chris adds on.

"Yeah, I love hot girls!" Izzy exclaims and does her signature laugh. The others shake her statement from their minds.

"I can give you all recommendations to come along, but know that all or any of you might not get in. It's a very competitive program." Bones says.

"We'd appreciate that." Duncan says and the others nod to his statement.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Hodgins walks in. Angela is lying on the couch.

"Hey, baby. You feeling ok?" Hodgins asks.

"Yeah, just need to lie down. The cramps keep coming. This boy's gonna be a black belt if he keeps kicking the way he does." Angela says and sits up. Hodgins sits next to her and rubs her stomach. He feels the kick and discretely rubs his hand.

"He's a regular Bruce Lee. I've gotta hit the gym before he comes out." He and Angela share a laugh. "So, heard about the whole Brennan and Booth situation?"

"No, but I can guess. She hasn't told him about her leaving yet, has she?" Angela asks.

"No, she hasn't. I wonder what'll happen when he finds out." Hodgins and Angela get worried.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Cam is these all by herself.

"Hello? Anyone there?" she asks softly.

Later, in Booth's office…

Booth puts up some papers and puts his shoes on and faces the door. The same soldier from earlier is there again.

"I already said I'm not interested. Now, excuse me so I can go home." Booth walks forward.

"Wait, Booth." The soldier puts his hand out. "Look, I came here on more than just orders. My brothers are both out there, trying to detain insurgents. They need someone capable enough to go overseas and train them. I am not, and I wanted the best to go over there and make sure my brothers come back to me in one piece. Please, I want you to go." Booth wiggles his jaw and looks at the soldier really hard.

"If I do this, I want assurance that I'll never, and I mean never, have to be dragged back to war. If another soldier comes telling me some made up sob story, I will shoot him. I want you to tell your boss that. Understood?"

"Yes, Sergeant Major, sir!" the soldier gives Booth a salute and leaves.

Booth kicks off his shoes, sits down, puts his feet on his desk, leans back, and then takes a deep breath.


	14. Chapter 14

Total Drama Lab Chapter Fourteen: "The nails in the sand"

Bones, Booth, and Hodgins arrive at the latest crime scene. The beach is swarming with FBI agents. They go up to the body, wearing a wet suit, where seagulls are scavenging. Bones scares them away. Bones and hodgins kneel over the body.

"The victim is male, age is somewhere in the mid-twenties, and his vertebrae and mandible suggests he was Caucasian. The remains needs to be stripped of flesh before any injuries can be ascertained. Dr. Hodgins, have you noted anything?" Bones asks.

"Yeah, there are several liquids present in the spaces where the nails should be. It doesn't appear to be nail polish. I'll swab some and take it back to the lab." Hodgins takes a sample and leaves.

"Booth, let's get this back to the lab." Bones says.

"Got it. Back to the lab, people!" Booth exclaims.

Later, at the lab table…

Booth, Cam, and Bones are at the table looking over the body.

"Ok, the officers say witnesses mentioned the body washed up on shore. So, the identity of the victim is the first priority before any of your tests begin. Where's Angela?" Booth raises his voice a little.

"Booth, are you ok?" Bones asks.

"Just get Angela here, now." Booth walks away and Owen walks past him to the table.

"So, what do we have today, Dr. B?" he asks.

"Apparently we have to wait on Angela, first." Bones says, annoyed at Booth.

Five minutes later…

Hodgins helps Angela to the lab table.

"Ok, I'm here." Angela says and heads to look at the skull and begins the facial reconstruction.

"I checked the residue in the fingertips and found algae, but not just any algae, but red algae, which helps with the formation of coral reefs, which might explain why the victim was wearing a diving outfit." Hodgins says.

"Maybe the victim was just fish food." Cam says. Hodgins and Bones laugh at her. Owen is confused. "What's so funny?"

"Cam, you're starting to slip now. If the victim was fish food, there would be way more scavenging than this. Coral reefs aren't five minute swims from the shore. If he was attacked by a shark of something, his body never would have made it to shore." Hodgins says.

"Plus, the wound to the victim's face that took off his flesh is irregular with bludgeoning, slicing, etc. The flesh looks stressed and stretched, like it was ripped off. Cam, you're the pathologist here, you should've noticed that before asking such a stupid question." Bones says.

"I am the boss, Dr. Brennan. Do not cross the line." Cam says.

"Relax, you'll be able to run this lab's reputation to the ground in two weeks when I leave for Maluku."

"Excuse me?" Booth asks as he walks up.

Everyone looks at each other.

"Booth, we can discuss this later. Ang, how's the sketch going?" Bones asks.

"It's done. I'll go and see if I get any hits off missing persons or the FBI database." Angela says and walks to her office.

Booth and Bones just stare at each other. Hodgins swabs the area around the torn flesh and leaves. Cam and Owen just awkwardly stand there.

Meanwhile, in Hodgins' lab…

Hodgins is waiting on the results from the spectrometer. Sweets walks in.

"Hey, I heard you were having a boy. Congratulations!" Sweets says.

"Thanks. How did you find out?" Hodgins asks.

"Angela told me. I don't know if you know this, but Angela and I are good friends. There was a reason she kept inviting me to lunch with you guys."

"Huh, well ok then. So, is there more to your visit?"

"Yes, I saw you carry Angela up the stairs today. Maybe she should go on maternity leave. This job could be really stressful for her.'

"She's fine. And don't worry. We've made some plans already. I have no intention of dealing with Cam without Bones or the interns here. Angela and I are going on sabbatical until she gets back. I'd hate to leave Booth alone with her, but whatever."

"Ok, don't tell Dr. Brennan or Cam that you know this, but Booth has checked out of his office because he's going to Afghanistan in two weeks. He told me this in confidence, so don't tell him that you know."

"Cam is going to ruin this lab!" Hodgins exclaims.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Angela is looking at the hit she got off of the FBI database. Booth and Bones walk in at the same time and refuse to look at each other.

"Ang, is this the victim?" Bones asks.

"Yes, his name is Donald Gear. He was a well known researcher of coral reefs. In this article here," she fiddles with her controller and pulls up the article, "he said we was close to finding something incredible in some reefs he had just discovered. His crew for that trip consisted of his brother, a fisherman, and his wife, Jamie Gear, a cook. That trip set sail four days ago. I'm sure whatever he found, the two or one of them killed him or the other two for it."

"It sounds legit to me. I'll put out an APB for both of them. They'll be found sooner or later. Question is, which one is the murderer?"

"I can answer that!" Hodgins says and walks in. "The flecks of metal that I found in the wound on the face were focused deeply at one point, like it was barbed, so I analyzed the metal and it matches specific metal used in professional fishing rods. The only one on that boat that was strong enough to wield a professional fishing rod was the brother." Hodgins looks at Booth directly.

"Then we have a potential murderer. We'll find the murderer at some point. Good work, Hodgins." Booth says and walks out.

"King of the lab!" Hodgins exclaims.

A week later, in Angela's office…

The gang, except Bones and Booth are reading the article that they caught the diver's murderer.

"Wow, I photograph great." Angela says.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I took up half of your face while trying to squeeze between you and Dr.B." Owen laughs.

"Whatever." She says.

Sweets gets up and walks out. Hodgins sees him leave and follows him outside Angela's office.

"Sweets, are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just, I can't handle it. Seeing all of us in there, and in a week, that won't be true. I can't stay here if you guys are all leaving. I just can't do it." Sweets rubs his hand over his head.

"Sweets, it's ok. You don't have to stay. Go somewhere, too, then. We'll all be back in a year, ok. I won't lie, things will be different when we get back, but we'll be back, I promise." Hodgins pats Sweets' shoulder. Angela watches from the door of her office and smiles.

Meanwhile, at Bones' apartment…

Booth and Bones are sitting across from each other.

"Were you ever going to tell me or just wait on me to learn you left on that same day?" Booth asks with a heavy tone.

"Yes, but I didn't think it was any of your business." Bones says.

"You know what, I get that. I'm going to Afghanistan for a year, and I didn't tell you, so that's fair. Thing is, I only found out weeks ago, you knew months in advance, because I know you don't do things last minute."

"Well, where does that leave us now?" Bones asks and leans back and sighs. Booth is silent.


	15. Chapter 15

Total Drama Lab Chapter Fifteen: "The lost boy with the puppy paw"

Bones walks up to the lab table to determine one of the identities of a set of remains from limbo. Hodgins and Cam are at the table with her.

"This person suffered from blows to the ribs according the remodeled fractures." Bones takes a closer look. "In fact, these fractures are too fresh for this body to have come from limbo. This body must have been placed there and replaced another." Bones looks to the surprised faces of Hodgins and Cam. "I'll call Booth." Bones pulls out her phone.

Later, at the lab table…

Booth is talking to Bones, Hodgins, and Cam.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. You think this body was used to replace another one. Why?" Booth asks.

"That's what we have to find out." Bones says.

"Great, now instead of spending my last day with Parker, I have to help solve a case that won't be solved." Booth raises his voice.

"I don't know. I think we can solve this case within one work day." Hodgins says.

"I agree. Booth, you check the tapes from the surveillance cameras. I'll have Angela do a facial reconstruction, and in the meantime, I'll catalog the damage."

"I can check limbo and see if there's any leftover ground evidence the thief left behind." Hodgins heads to limbo.

"I'll call in one of the interns to help out." Cam says.

"Oh, contact Duncan. I find he might be more useful for this case." Bones tells her. Cam nods and goes to her office. Booth looks at Bones and walks away.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Angela is judging one of Gwen's recent successful paintings.

"So, what do you think?" Gwen asks.

"Your brushstrokes are still heavy, but I'm glad to see you've started using thicker paint. How much did the studio sell it for?" Angela asks.

"It went for about twenty five hundred. I was happy, and I figured I'd buy you a gift to make up to you." Gwen puts down the painting and heads to her bag. She pulls out a present and hands it to Angela.

"Aww, thanks." Angela opens the gift and it's a check. Angela looks at it and then to Gwen. "Gwen, I can't accept this. You worked hard to get this money for your painting."

"It's ok, besides, without you, I never would've got that job in the first place. Consider it a going away present for your trip to Paris."

"Thank you." Angela hugs Gwen and Gwen hugs her back.

Bones sees them from the door and waits on them to finish hugging. They release each other and see Bones walking toward them.

"What can I do for you, sweetie?" Angela asks her.

"We need a facial reconstruction. There's been a theft." Bones says and leads the two of them to the lab table.

Meanwhile, in the security room…

Booth is watching the tapes very carefully. He freezes the tape when he sees someone switch the skeleton. He writes down the drawer number and heads to limbo.

Meanwhile, in limbo…

Hodgins is sweeping the floor of evidence with blue light. Nothing is showing up. Booth comes running down the stairs and Hodgins turns to him. Booth runs straight to drawer two thousand four hundred and forty six. Hodgins follows him.

"Hey, is this where the body was taken from?" Hodgins asks.

"Yeah. The guys face was covered, though, and he had on gloves, so no chance of finger prints."

"But, we can check the bones for fingerprints. The criminal might have bagged them gloveless. I'll text Dr. Brennan." Hodgins pulls out his phone.

Hodgins and Booth head back up the stairs.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Bones looks at her phone and puts it away. Angela is sketching a face, Gwen is studying the bone and Duncan and Cam walk up to the lab table.

"Hodgins wants the bone checked for fingerprints. Dr. Saroyan, please do that promptly so Duncan and I can continue the investigation of the bone." Bones says.

Cam grabs the body and wheels it to the autopsy room.

"So, Dr. Brennan, are you ready to leave tonight?" Duncan asks.

"Yes, I've left all my bags in my office, so I'll be heading to the airport right after this case is up."

"I've finished the reconstruction. I'll try and match it to someone on the FBI database." Angela heads back to her office slowly and Gwen follows her.

Booth and Hodgins walk up to the lab table.

"Where's Angie?" Hodgins asks them.

"She finished the reconstruction and went to her office." Bones says. Hodgins turns around and heads to her office. Bones looks at Booth with a slight angry demeanor.

Duncan looks at the two of them and walks away.

Meanwhile, in Angela's office…

Hodgins walks in and looks at the screen like Angela and Gwen are.

"Is this the guy in Cam's lab right now?" Hodgins asks.

"Yeah, meet Oliver Candy. He had a son that lives in an orphanage right now. The kid's name is Kent Candy. The name of the orphanage," Angela pulls it up with her controller, "is the Cachen Orphanage. The guy who owns it is North Cachen."

"I'll go and tell Booth." Hodgins says and walks off.

Meanwhile, at the lab table…

Booth and Bones are standing and not talking to each other. Hodgins walks up and tells Booth the news. Booth leaves and Duncan and Cam wheel the body up to the lab table.

"The fingerprints apparent on the bone belong to someone called North Cachen." Cam says.

"Then we have our culprit." Hodgins says. "Thing is, why would he put gloves on to put the skeleton in the drawer, but not when bagging it. Did he want to get caught?" Hodgins asks.

"That could be a possibility. Thing is, why would he want to get caught?" Duncan asks in return.

"That's up to Booth to learn now." Cam says.

Meanwhile, at the Cachen Orphanage…

Booth and Sweets walk to the door and knock and an older man answers the door.

"Hello, my name is North Cachen. Are you gentleman here to adopt?" he asks them. They just stare at him and North's face changes from intrigue to worry.

Later, in North Cachen's office…

"Look, the boy's father was a real bastard. He would come and demand his kid, and sometimes he got violent. I had to keep Kent safe, but social work wouldn't do anything. I killed Oliver and cleaned and stripped the skeleton of any flesh. I knew I would have to be punished, so I snuck into your skeleton storage and put the skeleton there and knew it was just a matter of time. The only reason I did it was so that this Kent would be noticed. I know this is going to be some huge event on the news, and people with good hearts will adopt him and give him a good family. Now, I've given you a confession, so take me in." North says with tears in his eyes.

Booth arrests him and reads him his rights. Sweets goes and grabs Kent and walks him out with them.

Later, at the airport…

Everyone is in the middle of the walkway staring at each other.

"Well, I guess this good bye for all of us for the next year." Booth says and turns to Bones. "Have a good trip." He faces the others. "All of you have good trips." Booth turns to his gate and leaves.

Bones watches him go away.

"Well, I'm off to get back in touch with my musical roots. I'll see you guys next year." Sweets hugs everyone and leaves.

"Yeah, we're actually off now, too. Paris waits, but first." Hodgins pulls out a pamphlet and gives it to Bones and the interns. "Beware of those creatures. I've listed several dangerous creatures you'll be sure to encounter and their likely hiding spots." Hodgins hugs all of them while Angela hugs Bones.

"Be careful, sweetie." Angela says before letting go.

Hodgins and Angela head to their gate.

"Well, Dr. Saroyan, good luck in our absence." Bones says and turns around to head to her gate. The interns follow behind her.

Cam wipes a tear from her eye and leaves.

Gwen is at the door and turns around and leaves, too.


End file.
